Location Earth Dog Tags

Tired of gesticulating and playing charades with those pesky aliens, trying to tell them the way home, whilst you have electrode inserted into your brain?

Have no fear, 'Location Earth Dog Tags' are here!

These dog tags are ideal for anyone whose afraid of not getting home for last orders after being whisked away.

These tags conveniently shows them there aliens where you live in relation to pulsars within the galaxy, then the right planet in the Solar System. They even give them an idea of what shape your body should be for when they need to put you back together again, though they might make you into a member of the Hitler youth by the look of the figures.

One draw back is that they point to the North American continent as your home, but then, with a whole galaxy to get lost in, what's a few thousand miles? (Quite a lot when your put down in the middle of a red neck posse when you think about - any where has got to be better!)

But anyway, these should relieve fears of never coming home for those that worry about these things.

One thing though, I hope that the aliens are smarter than me, because I would have no idea what the pulsar map was all about. But then again, I'm not an interstellar traveller.

Or am I? They may have wiped my memory, which would explain a few things.