Segway XT

Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a Segway. They're common as muck, but now you can take one ON muck (see what I did there?) with the Segway XT.
Not only is this Segway capable of going off road, but you also get 10" polished aluminium rims, 7" wide, low-pressure tires and an extra 2.5mph on it's anaemic cousin.

The sturdy fenders on the Segway XT are designed to protect the rider from debris and to safeguard during leaning turns. The aluminum fender frames feature built-in lift handles that help you (and a friend!) get a grip on the Segway XT for loading in and out of a vehicle.
Forget car modding, buy this and be the rudest of rude boys on your council estate.

Bangin' mush, safe as ****